Washington DC - (Ass Mess): The Head of White House Domestic Services has spoken of his concerns about the new puppy that President Elect Obama is bringing with him in January.
Stephen W Rochon has already had his fill of George W Bush's trashy-ass mutts Barney and Miss Beazley and confesses to being something of a pussy man himself.
"Personally I'd prefer a nice tactile kitty like a Maine Coon or an American Forest Cat," Rochon told reporters today.
"But chances are there ain't gonna be ANY new pussy in the Executive Mansion when Mr Obama moves in, not if Mrs O has any say-so in the matter," Rochon explained.
"We're bracing ourselves for some fancy-ass mutt like a Pit Bull, an Alaskan Husky, a French Poodle, a Kerry Blue or maybe even a Teddy Roosevelt Terrier.
"As for names, well bitches called Oprah, Paris or Britney are all popular at the moment.
"If it's a male then we reckon it's gonna be called Elvis."
Laura Bush is 69.