Special report by correspondent Harriet Haughty: With the election now over, heavily guarded secrets of Barrack Obama's physiology, sexual preferences and peccadilloes can now be revealed.
In a published report,Professor Wendell Waddrippins, noted psychosexual analyst and social behaviorist anthropologist, states these previously highly discreet secrets on the President-elect.
"According to the medical reports I have obtained, the most obvious observation, is the President -elect has the half white genes more pronounced, or I should say, less pronounced, in the size of his male organ. It's not that it's small, it's just that of an average white guy" Professor Waddrippins said matter of factly , extending his thumb and index fingers on one hand.
"Probably the good thing, in the white gene respect, at least for the first lady-elect, I venture to guess he likes to go down town, if you know what I mean. You're not going to get that with the average black man," he continued. "I'd say, based on my observations of his neatness, his repetitiveness of phrases and acts,'change,change, change,' comes to mind, very anal, is he probably gives a little back door action too, my guess is he's down there for the count."
When questioned as to why this information has suddenly, now, comes to light.
"Well, it's obvious, you want to get those fantasy votes from the soccer moms, big voting block, people who dream of that black c*ck fantasy."
When pointed out, by this reporter, that this was blatantly sexist, racist, misogynistic, the Professor grimaced and said, "My dear little tw*t, I said nothing to the kind, I merely pointed out the man's short comings and a woman getting her licks in."
When countered by this reporter that these statements perpetuate stereotypes in the worse possible way the Professor's response was, "What? You a dyke or something?"