Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 5 November 2008

image for McCain Blames Voters, Palin For Defeat
McCain: "Suit yourselves!"

Republican Presidential candidate John McCain reacted angrily to suggestions that he, alone, was responsible for yesterday's election defeat, and laid the blame squarely at the feet of the US electorate, who, he said were "spineless", and Sarah Palin.

More than 740million people voted in the election, the most since 1421, and Mr McCain said they would be judged by their decision to elect America's first Black African-American President to the White House.

He told his supporters in his concession address:

"The American people have spoken, and they have spoken with a black tongue. Now, I'm no racist, but don't blame me if, in ten years time, you're all eating chicken an' beans, and listening to Dr Dre with your Corn Flakes in a morning.

"Grandma, don't come crying to me if you've got Imran and Mohammad as your next door neighbours wailing into the early hours, and I don't want to hear about the drug deals going on in your neatly-cut front garden, your pretty blonde daughters being gang-raped by local 'chillun', or you wake up in the morning to the sound of your hub caps being pilfered. I won't listen.

"As for Sarah Palin, she's just Alaskan eye candy for nerds!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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