Written by Chuck Terzella
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Sunday, 6 June 2004

Ronald Reagan died Saturday afternoon and within hours both accolades and criticisms of the former actor, President and grandfather of America's Neo Con movement were pouring in from the afterlife. John Edward, host of televisions Crossing Over was quoted as saying, " Everyone's calling in on this one; I haven't had a minutes rest since he died. Apparently, he causing quite a stir out there in the ether. For some weird reason After Life Booking, the Spirits that do the placement of souls, have roomed him with Jerry Garcia temporarily and Garcia's freaking out. He's been calling every two minutes asking me if there's anything I can do. I keep telling him I'm only a receiver but he's too stoned to get it.

Edward continued, " I found this surprising, but did you know Nixon hates that guy (Reagan) too? He and Garcia are laughing that they finally agree on something. Last night they short sheeted Reagan's bed, can you believe it? His first night too, man that's cold. On the other hand, Bob Hope seems genuinely happy to see him again as does Joe McCarthy. It's a mixed bag really. There's a whole mess of dead Nicaraguan's that are really looking forward to some face time with him as well as a couple of blacklisted screenwriters. He may need some protection up there if they can't place him permanently soon."

Reports from Heaven indicate that the spirit of J. Edgar Hoover is pushing for Reagan's soul to be placed in the Great Beyond's Witless Protection Program, which is not an Alzheimers joke.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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