Written by Tyler James Perry
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Wednesday, 5 November 2008

image for Local professor considered an arrogant prick by many
Smithton - Twat.

Indiana University professor Dr. Jack Roy Smithton is probably the most arrogant prick on campus. The snobby bastard has been known to glorify himself in lectures, speaking of himself as a so-called "expert" on any number of topics. He never fails to reference an all-important and successful research project no one gives a shit about.

Smithton seems to think his multiple degrees make him superior to everyone.

"Most people's performances in life are sub-par and thus unacceptable," Smithton said when asked about the failing economy and other issues facing the world "Now, if you please excuse me, I have an important meeting to attend."

Before attending his "meeting" he described his hatred of students.

"I know how you college kids are. You just want to take up all of my time because you have nothing better to do."

IU grad student Jimmy McClutch hates the hell out of Smithton.

"I can't stand him. In one of his classes, he made us buy three books, all of which he had written," McClutch said. "God I hate that fat ass prick."

McClutch also describes Smithton as the type of asshole that would make people buy the most recent edition of books, instead of the original edition which is "the same god damn thing just with 10 less fucking pages and $30 more," he describes.

Aside from having a general disdain for students, Smithton also feels he's better than his colleagues.

"I know I'll never work on another project with him," said Dr. Eileen B3 Hammond. "He's the rudest son of a bitch on campus."

Even though Smithton thought the project was successful, Hammond said that little was ever accomplished.

"He wouldn't let anybody else participate in the study," she said. "In the end, he just made the whole project all about him. It was all just about him getting another book published."

McClutch still harbors hatred for the pompous bastard and offers advice to fellow students.

"I tell everyone I know not to take any of his classes," he said. "Unless you want to put up with the worst kind of snob: One who thinks he's great, but really won't be remembered for being anything but a waste of a person."

Smithton, whose name I refuse to put "Dr." in front of, is a major jerk off.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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