Chicago,Il / AP - The streets of Chicago were ablaze with the midnight bonfires of aging tenements while jubilant Obama supporters ran wild sacrificing K-9 dogs and the horses of this urban city's law enforcement agency for a "Zulu Cookout."
Spurred on by cadre of ACORN, Obama's militant community action group, hordes of voters roasted the victims of their Kenya like sacrifices over open pits, while dancing wildly in the streets. Local liquor stores were over run, and cases of Wild Turkey and Jim Beam were passed out liberally to the intoxicated political crowd.
In smaller open fires, constituents burned their mortgages and maxed out credit and debit cards, declaring, "Thank God, Almighty, we be free at last!", a phrase popularized by Obama supporter Peggy Joseph immortalized on You Tube, as she swooned in rapture at an Obama religious event declaring " I don't never have to worry about putting gas in my car, or paying my mortgage again!"
Low riders were lined up around the block at local 7-11's demanding free gas while waving Obama Share the Wealth pennants. Most of the Pakistani attendants had fled the scene after locking up the pumps and securing the cash register receipts in their shorts.
Boom boxes all over the city were tuned to the same Reggae station as Bob Marley wailed on "I Shot the Sheriff" over and over again while law enforcement agents abandoned their posts and headed for early retirement in Alaska.
Meanwhile in Philadelphia Black Muslims with night sticks moved into polling places to insure that "no voting fraud took place." In Wisconsin a democratic Mayor disbanded the voting fraud squad after they reported some voting booths already had recorded 5,000 people had voted before the polls opened.
Meanwhile in Iraq, thousands of serving troops were disenfranchised when absentee ballots from Democrat controlled counties in the states" neglected" to get absentee ballots out in time.
In Venezuela, Narco Dictator Hugo Chavez declared November 4, 2008 "Hurray the Black Man Day", sent 4 home made submarines loaded with Cocaine to Miami, nationalized all the foreign banks and oil refineraries, and declared himself permanently allied with the United States.