Written by Bureau
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Topics: Alcohol, drunk

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Alcoholics Anonymous graduate Billy James Hancock, formerly known to the small town of Brindley, North Carolina as The Town Drunk, celebrated his third full year of being alcohol-free, Sunday. Hosting several of his old friends since high school, B.J. and his wife, Rachel June, had Chinese food delivered and after dinner, everyone called for a speech.

"It's been a hard three years, especially the first 35 months", stated B.J. "At first I didn't know what to do with myself after work but soon I got interested in collecting butterflies, stamps and aluminum cans. Anyways, let's drink a toast with this here bottled water."

After everyone had slapped B.J. on the back and left, Rachel June looked B.J. straight in the eye and told him, "I bet you could quit smoking those two packs of cigarettes a day too if you set your mind to it, B.J."

Later Billy James told the family he needed to go upstairs where he apparently straightened up his sock drawer, changed the pillow cases on the bed, shined his boots to a real high polish and blew his brains out.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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