Written by Morse
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Saturday, 1 November 2008

image for Biden: Unwed Mothers Receiving $42,500 a Year May Have to be Taxed!
Obama @ Biden Ban Condoms:Claims Birth Control Threatens Dems Voting Base and Curtails "Cash Flow"!

Annapolis, Md./ Blue Crab News - Oops! Joe Biden stepped in it again when he announced at one of his rare Senate reelection stops that the state's welfare mothers receiving $42,500 in cash benefits may have to be taxed in order to fulfill Obama's economic promises.

Maryland's education system, which mandates $600 for every child born out of wedlock to receive a stipend, now has sophomore students in high school earning more than a second year teacher in charge of educating them!

In addition to overcrowded daycare centers at the state's public highschools, all children of unwed mothers receive full health and dental benefits, a college tuition matching grant, a no interest loan on an SUV, and a Visa Card for "incidental expenses".

Recent attempts at reform have been stymied by the Democratic controlled State Senate. In an attempt to mollify stressed taxpayers, they did recently pass a Sex Education requirement for all High School Seniors, but critics said that by that time some students who have had trouble passing basic language and math skills are already Grandmothers.

Planned Parenthood organizers in the state have been labeled "Racist" for trying to introduce condoms into the curriculum. DEA officials said the colorful condoms have been showing up on street corners however, being used as convenient wrappers for all the popular street drugs.

Biden, who has not faced any media interviews, and has refused to debate his Republican opponent in his Senate reelection campaign, was caught off guard outside his home when he returned for a change of underwear after being on the Presidential campaign trail for the past several months.

Biden's armed handlers immediately rushed him back to the confines of his armored convoy, announced that all attendant media personnel were banned from any further access for the next 8 years, and were "kicked off" the Obama Campaign Bus unless they were from "Ebony" magazine.

On hearing of another Biden slip, Obama immediately called a press conference to announce that "Obama's Mommas" would not be taxed, and that in fact he was instituting a Cost of Living Allowance (COLA) increase in excess of the 5% recently awarded the country's retired taxpayers.

ABC, NBC, CBS,and CNN did not report on this event and their seats on the Obama Bus and Plane were upgraded to First Class with attendant complimentary champaign and caviar.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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