Written by Ed E. Druckman
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Friday, 31 October 2008

image for Republican Sources: A Palin-Plumber Ticket In 2012

(Bowling Green-OH) It was after Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher was brought out as a surprise guest by Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin at a rally in the battleground state of Ohio that high ranking Republican party officials began hinting at a possible Palin-Wurzelbacher ticket in 2012. And neither Palin nor Wurzelbacher is denying it.

After a recent rally in Jeffersonville, Indiana, an Associate Press reporter asked Governor Palin the question about the possible 2012 ticket. "Gosh, I can't speak for Joe, but ya' know, Presidential tickets do need two people. Actually, they need four, because you need to run against two other people. That's why we have a democracy, for which I stand." After a long pause, the AP reporter re-asked the question: Would two of those people be Palin and Wurzelbacher? "I guess you could say two of those people could be me and Joe…the Plumber, not Biden. See, he's a Democrat, and the Vice President. I mean, uh…okay then."

Taking time out from a personal appearance during a Home Depot opening, Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher was more direct. "Look, I don't beat around the bush. I don't lie, unless of course it's about me actually being a plumber or having personal tax liens against me. But you show me a politician who doesn't bend the truth like it's a copper elbow joint, and I'll show you a Democrat. After rambling a bit further, Wurzelbacher went on, "I would welcome a ticket with Sarah Palin. The only question would be who would be on top. Since I'm a progressive Republican, I wouldn't mind if she was on top…. if you get my meaning."

When this quote was relayed to Republican Vice Presidential Governor Palin, she replied, "I don't get the last part." An aide then explained it to her. And she replied, somewhat shocked, "You mean you can do that? I'm likin' Joe more and more!"

Former Bush insider and now Fox news analyst Karl Rove sees possible potential in a Palin-Wurzelbacher ticket. "I saw them at that rally in Bowling Green. Governor Palin called out Joe the Plumber, and he just stood there, not saying a word. After John McCain, I think it's best that we have a candidate who doesn't speak." Rove was then asked what he thought of Wurzelbacher when he did speak, saying things such as Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama tap danced around the issues "almost as good as Sammy Davis, Jr." "Well," said Rove, "I think it's debatable given Sammy Davis Jr.'s great talent in song, dance and acting that tap dancing would be seen as the best choice. But, again, this proves my point about not speaking. I think it would also appeal to the hearing challenged base as well."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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