USA Airwaves - Barack Hussein Obama II, American's new premier pitchman for Socialist Stew unveiled his new kitchen aid on a paid national TV infomercial costing millions.
Using a 3 pound Zucchini which he said represented the top 1 % of US Taxpayers, Chef Obama, whittled it down to the size of a small carrot to illustrate what he said was "paring the fat" from the rich, in order to put food on the table for all those making less than a combined income of $250,000 a year.
Earlier, VP candidate Joe Biden, using the same kitchen aide on a Martha Stewart cooking show, used a pygmy cucumber, which he said represented taxpayers making a combined $150,000 income, and whittled that down to a handful of bread and butter sweet pickles to be served alongside a meager portion of fish and chips, sans Mushy Peas.
Viewers were urged to send in tax exempt contributions during the half hour in order to avoid a January price hike, in addition to an increased sales tax on the implement. As an incentive the DNC offered a one time mail in Absentee Ballot conveniently filled out in the name of Obama.
A Spoof Political writer asked the candidate how the math worked on his new Economic Plan "Share the Wealth." Investigative reporter, EZ WRITER asked, "how can 1% of the population support the other 99%?"
Obama looked the reporter in the eye and said off mike, "they really can't, and that's why we'll be taking over the rest of the private institutions in the country starting with our "Ram Plan" on January 20, 2009...but my constituents aren't really too sharp when it comes to my "Obama Math" theories on Economic Policy."
EZ Writer responded, "but how can you do that when the press reports on that radical , marxist approach and the public finds out what you're really up to?"
Obama smiled, "what Press," he leered. They're all about to go bankrupt, and as soon as Barney Frank rams the Media Purchase Bill through the House, we'll OFFICIALLY own the media. And as for The Spoof and Fox News, you're now banned from any kind of reporting, and denied any meaningful access to government activities!"
Continuing with his sales pitch Obama reached for a cherry tomato, "and this represents those of you making $75,000 a year............."