Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 26 October 2008

image for McCain's Campaign Bus - The Unused Slogans
A traffic cone that the 'Straight Talk Express' ran over in Two Dot, Montana (photo courtesy of John Madden)

CHICKENBONE LAKE, Michigan - Senator John McCain's campaign bus has the slogan the 'Straight Talk Express' painted on the sides.

One of his campaign assistants, Champy Carfino said that the name was actually suggested by a nine-year-old boy who lives in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. The young boy named Tyrone Ticonderoga III, said that he thought up the name while watching an old rerun of 'Gilligan's Island.'

Tyrone said that he watched Ginger tell Mrs. Howell that she dreamed that a Greyhound bus with the slogan 'Straight Talk Express' drove up to their island and they all got on board and rode back to civilization.

He stated that he immediatley yelled out to his mother who was making hamburger helper in the kitchen and he told her to write down 'Staight Talk Express' and to email it to the senator at bigmac@mywifeisrich!rich!rich!.web

Tyrone said that he received a nice personally autographed letter (suitable for framing) from John McCain along with a coupon for 50 cents off of a six-pack of Budweiser (for his dad), a $10 gift certificate to J.C. Penney (for his mom), and $3 in cash (for him).

Here is a List of Bus Names That Were Not Used:

  1. The Rolling Down The Highway at 45 MPH Express
  2. The GOP Hip Hop Hippity Hop Express
  3. Johnny's Bus
  4. The Old Gray-Haired Guy's Bus
  5. The Completely Paid For By Cindy McCain Express
  6. The Five and A Half Years as a POW Express
  7. The High Gasoline Prices Don't Bother Us One Darn Bit Express
  8. The Hey My Friends, Here Comes The Comb-Over Express
  9. The 'Si We Habla Spanish Mucho Not Poquito' Express
  10. The Yes We've Got Bud Light-On-Tap Express


In related news, Sarah Palin emailed Katie Couric and told her that she has not shot a moose in about two weeks.

(Right lane closed ahead merge left)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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