Written by winston_smith
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Topics: Cows, Iowa, Bestiality

Thursday, 23 October 2008

image for Cow has Human Fetus
F*ck 4 Jeb, scarlet lettered cow, Brittaney

This ain't no bull - The Iowa woman, who just last month claimed her husband had a cure for world hunger, Francesca Delaney of Madison County, Iowa is in the news again.

Francesca Delaney's best milking cow, Brittaney, is pregnant with what apparently is a human embryo. Madison County veterinarian, Doctor Henry Kimbal, confirmed to both his horror and amazement this incredible creation between some man and this beast.

"I was agivin Brittaney jest a regular exam and she was acting kinda particular, I noticed this behavior many times. But bein is how the Delaney's ain't got no bull on the farm I jest brushed it off. But jest for manure and giggles I checked her out with my ultra sound and when I checked out the printout, well.. I was as shocked as maybe Brittaney was."

Mrs. Delaney, who, only last month claimed her now vanished husband was teaching this very same cow the process to cure world hunger, claims otherwise. "I don't understand the sound of your question," said Mrs. Delaney when questioned as to her husband's recent disappearance and the Holstein's pregnancy.

"Jeb" (Mrs. Delaney's husband), " he loved that cow as if it were human, that's why he was teaching her the secrets to curing world hunger. For you to even suggest such a thing..."her voice trailed in disbelief.

When told that one of those secrets was he 'put the boots to the ol' girl' as she herself eyewitnessed, Mrs. Delaney said, "Brittaney may have six teats for a tugging, but my Jeb loved aplayin with the girls, " she defended herself hefting her sagging yet ample double DD's. "There's two donkeys out in the barn so it's not like a piece of ass question."

Dr. Kimbal said," I will monitor this pregnancy very closely, obviously we are at a breaking
point in science , to think the cross tween man and beast, well that's jest fasinatin', plain wrong, but fasinatin."

Jeb Delaney has been missing for two weeks. Mrs. Delaney insists that it has to be one of his inventions and expects him back soon. "Jeb was working on his invention, it's a transporter of some such. He says he's agonner change the transportation of the world. I saw him packing his luggage two weeks ago, right about the time Doctor Hank came by, so he's packing the necessities, for one of his transports and I said, "You going somewhere Jeb?" And he says, 'I'm a gonner…" Then he couldn't finish his words, got all choked up with his humility, and his inventive genius. So I figure he just got in his transporter and 'beamed out', as they say on those sci-fi shows."

When questioned how a man cow pregnancy is even biologically possible. Dr. Kimbal replied. "Oh it's possible, well,kind of possible, well it's not improbable, not probable, but possible, let's put it this way, it's possibly probable," nodded the county vet.

When this reporter suggested that Jeb Delaney could be the father of this abomination and asked the doctor if that was possible he answered again," Oh it's possible, well,kind of possible, well it's not improbable, not probable, but possible, let's put it this way, it's possibly probable."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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