Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 21 October 2008

image for Taco Bell, Burger King Products Questioned by FDA
The Double Cheeseburger Looks More like a Scooby Snack

On the heels of recent federal action taken against some fast-food restaurants for a lack of nutritional information on product packaging, the Food and Drug Administration is now targeting misleading product names as featured by many of these same food chains.

Taco Bell and Burger King were the only two companies mentioned by the FDA in the original press release, but insiders tell reporters that numerous restaurant chains are under review.

Sean "Puffy" Waistlyne, one of the FDA investigators and largest critics of current product naming practices says, "Starting with Taco Bell for example. The Burrito Supreme is clearly an oxymoron of the highest degree. There's nothing supreme about it actually, where their 'Regular Taco' is more appropriately named."

Questioned about Burger King, Mr. Waistlyne commented, "Yes we're targeting the Whopper specifically, mostly because the only thing large about the sandwich is the bun and the amount of mayonnaise slathered on top."

Consumers seem uninterested in the FDA's investigation. Texas long-haul truck driver and regular fast-food patron, Pudge Creosote says, "I don't stop for a Double Whopper because I think its health food, and I don't order the double because I worry about the single Whopper being too small. Now you take the 'Supersize Fry' option for example. I should have trouble lifting the bag of fries up into my truck, now that would be supersize. Go get the FDA to work on that for me, will you boy? "

Waistlyne also mentioned that the popular American roadside diner, Big Boy would be next. "Well, the rotating fat youngster on their now-famous exterior sign is holding what looks to be a massive double patty hamburger, but the typical Big Boy sandwich is only an inch and a half high and four inches wide when delivered to your table. It is truly disturbing, and the public should be outraged."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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