Alaskan Ethics Investigator, Branchflower told the Palins to bend over and crack a smile in imitation of the Repub icon Joe the tax fraud, unlicensed plumber. Branchflower, a name Conan Doyle could not have invented, gloved up and did a GI exploratory on each of the Alaskan cavities.
Up to his elbow in each, the investigator encountered a similar blockage. After about a half hour of wrestling the obastacle broke free and was removed with about as much kicking and screaming as does a Moose when it is shot dead.
Oddly the foreign objects were practically twins. Branchflower was reluctant to identify the large thorned specimens. "Let's just say that the proverbial 'something's stuck up the ass' of the Christian conservative made its appearance two times!!", was all that Branchflower could squeeze out.