NEW YORK CITY -- President George Bush is passing over the United Nations again in an effort to settle matters in Iraq and instead asking for the assistance of the Justice League of America.
"It's time we got the right people involved," Bush said at a special press conference at the White House. "This transformation period in Iraq is crucial and we need the strongest support we can get to make it work.
"That's why I am calling upon Superman, Atom II, Faith, Firestone, Flash III, Green Lantern III, Major Disaster, Mantiou Raven, Martian Manhunter, Plastic Man and Wonder Woman, the current rolecall of the Justice League of America [JLA], to join with our coalition forces in Iraq."
Superman flew in to the White House as the President ended his announcement. "Speaking for the Justice League," he said, "we are more than happy to support the President and the U.S."
Some critics of the President are viewing this as a contradiction in policy. "Mr. Bush didn't wait for the JLA to join us in the pre-emptive war. All of a sudden he wants JLA help."
"It's an important move," said Vice President Cheney, speaking from an undisclosed location. "The JLA understands the urgency of a free Iraq."
"Pasta va-zool," said a spokesman from the John Kerry For President camp. "Mr. Bush is pushing his incumbent powers to the umpth degree. Everyone knows Superman is a Democrat anyway."
Just what the duties of the world's most powerful superhero team will be are yet to be determined. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said, "I knew this group when they were the Justice Society of America and today they look more powerful than ever.
"As we know there are powerful powers and there are powers that are powerful. We also know that the powers we know are powerful and even more powerful are the powers we might not know."
British Prime Minister Tony Blair commented later in the afternoon, during high tea at 10 Downing Street. He said, "We admire the move and only wish we in England had at any time in our history, a super hero."