Written by Fish
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Topics: Halloween

Thursday, 23 October 2008

image for Trick-or-Treaters Now Considered Dangerous
Dangerous Time Of Year

Edge City, PA-- Sociologists are warning of a disturbing trend this Halloween. Trick-or-treaters may not be all they seem. Many are violent and the majority have criminal records. Sociologists say it's probably better not to open the door.

Dr. Rochelle Goons holds a Doctorate in Halloween from Princeton and helped explain the findings.

"Halloween brings out the mentally ill and the sociopathic types. Only sick people wear silly costumes and knock on strangers doors if you think about it. That person behind the mask you just let in your house might be the next Ted Bundy!" stated Dr. Goons.

"This all began a few decades ago when more adults started wearing costumes on Halloween. Many adults these days are anything but adult. They want candy, beer, money, drugs, sex, and even your life. Don't open that door!" said the doctor.

Local police are also warning against opening the door to strangers. The police are especially concerned about a common scam that uses small children to gain access to the house.

"It happens so often." said Dr. Goons. "A little girl in an angel costume might appear at the door with a single parent, usually the 'mother'. Everyone opens the door to look at the cute little angel. Meanwhile the 'mother' is inside your house, secretly videotaping the security system and looking for things to steal. Thousands of people are robbed and killed by this scam every year. Just don't open that damn door!!" she reiterated.

"Celebrate Halloween on-line this year. It is much safer." she said. "Go to Halloweenspoof.com, it's a wonderful website. You can virtually go up and down any neighbourhood and pick up online candy coupons. You can redeem the coupons at your local Poke N Toke Grocery store. Who wants to go out in all that violence anyway." said Dr. Goons.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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