Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 17 October 2008

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Joe the Plumber's Basic Hand Tool

Capitalizing on his recent notoriety from John McCain's public speeches, "Joe the Plumber" will release a book this Christmas detailing his life on the road as a residential plumber. Used as McCain's example of an average blue collar, hard working American, Joe was thrust into the political spotlight as a family man with a small business, struggling to make ends meet.

Speaking with reporters this past Thursday, Joe plans to write about what he knows best, cleaning out the scum, hair, grease and other grotesque materials that plug up the most important piece of residential infrastructure. "Let's face it", Joe said, "You can't wash dishes, do laundry, take a shower or even a crap without plumbing. When it doesn't work, that's money for me. If it's not out of sight, it's on my mind."

Working with his publisher, Joe plans to include chapter topics like:

• The art of the power snake
• Two handed plunging & turd management
• Butt crack basics
• Hair clog headaches
• Frustrated housewife services (Tipping Encouraged)

Responding to questions about some of Joe's worst personal experiences in the plumbing business, he said, "I love pulling out used condoms from the pipes when the wife swears that her husband doesn't wear them. Then, there was that one time with a burst cast iron sewer pipe. The first word out of my mouth was 'SHIT'. That turned out to be accurate since that was what the basement was covered in."

The book's working title is; "Your Shit is My Pleasure", in stores by December 21st.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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