Presidential hopeful John McCain is taking comfort from a new electoral poll that says that 55% of Klu Klux Klan members "don't trust Obama".
Part-time Klansmen Ray Cyst said: "There's something about Senator Obama that I don't like. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe his eyes are too close together. But I wouldn't vote for him." Another Klansmen, Clitus Fundus from Seattle, Washington, said: "I think it's because he's eju-cated. Here in the Deep South, if a man's eju-cated, we burn his house down and steal his chickens."
But a minority of Klansmen disagree. Virgils Aeneid, who has just returned from the war in Iraq, said: "Heck, I'll vote for him. But then, me paps always said I was dropped on me head."
Senator McCain needs these grass roots bigots if he is to overturn Obama's solid lead in the polls. One insider said that the 90 year old Senator has been packing his audiences with really stupid people, like the elderly white woman who accused the Democrat of being an Arab and the really stupid Alaskan lady with glasses who says he's a terrorist because he once worked for a charity where one of the other employees was a hippy who protested against some war by trying to blow up a police station.
One analyst said: "McCain wants to make sure that he's the smartest person in the hall, which usually isn't difficult when you consider that most registered Republican voters can't spell their own name."