Written by ComixFarm Dude
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Monday, 13 October 2008

In celebration of the 50th birthday of Paddington Bear, the Cleavland Zoo announced today that they would be re-naming one of their bears, Paddington. His name up until now was Neil.

Cleavland Zoo representative Barry Brown said that they had wanted to name a newborn bear Paddington, but their plan had been foiled by a disgruntled employee.

"We had an expecting mother bear who was due to give birth on Paddington's birtday," said Brown, "and that would have been great. To have a bear born on Paddington Bear's birthday and then name it Paddington. That would have been perfect."

But the aforementioned employee, Cleavland Pimpleton, did not agree. Nor apparently, did other Zoo employees.

"In the original story, Paddington Bear, the bear got his name because he was discovered in Paddington Station." Pimpleton pointed out. "The bear born here should be named Cleavland Bear, being born in the Cleavland Zoo and all."

Other Zoo employees got on board with Pimpleton's assertion, and signed a letter threatening to strike were the new-born bear named "Paddington".

Pimpleton denied allegations that he just wanted the new bear to be named after him in order to steal media attention away from the new-born bear in hopes of showcasing his juggling act for the news cameras.

"That isn't true," he said. "I mean, it's true that I juggle and all. And I'm pretty good at it. I could show you... I have my stuff here. In fact I brought in some little stuffed Paddington Bears and I could juggle those for you, if you like."

Not to be completely deterred, a plan B was decided upon and the old brown bear Neil was given his new name, Paddington.

"Well, it's not the perfect solution," said a bemuttled Brown, "but we chose Neil... uh... I mean, Paddington, because he is a popular bear here at the zoo. I mean, he doesn't juggle like Pimpleton, but people don't come here to see Pimpleton juggle, do they?"

With five Paddington Bears in the air, Pimpleton said he intends to pursue a career in juggling. Brown called him "a media-whore".

Asked to comment, other signers of the letter said that they just went along with Pimpleton's plan because they thought "it would be funny."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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