Written by Phil Edgar's Bones
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Sunday, 12 October 2008

image for Happy Days' Potsie Webber is Serial Killer
'Singing' Potsie choose his 'murder victims' randomly from phone book

Warren 'Potsie' Webber, the simple-witted crooner from the 1970's, hit sitcom "Happy Days is the U.S' most prolific serial killer.

The Daily Scum can reveal that 'greasy' Potsie is the 'Phone-Book' Killer, who chose his victims from the phone-book.

In a thirty-five year reign of terror, the Milwaukee misfit, brutally murdered over 500 people in various twisted, sick and perverted ways. His serial killing 'signature mark' was to sing to his hopeless, hapless victim before he pushed them into the 'land of the dead.'

One of his victims Rosetta Gonzalez said "When Potsie killed me in 1978, I was absolutely livid as I wanted someone much better than him to off me. I know the Fonz would be too important to stab me to death. But Potsie of all people that was a "mother" fucken insult. He could at least have brought Ralph Malph, Richie or Mrs Cunningham. I hope he gets the electric chair for his bad singing alone".

Potsie is thought to be sharing a cell in Addica Prison with legendary beatnik poet Charles Manson, who was also the fifth member of the American 'Beatles'aka the 'Monkees'.

Civil Rights leaders have asked the black community to 'remain calm' as it was revealed at least twenty black men and boys were executed for some of murders that have now been attributed to the clean-cut, All-American, white buffoon.

Thelma Jackson whose 'five month' old baby was 'wrongly executed' in 1987 for the killing 23 year old James Whitmore ( one of Potsie Victims). Said "The Good-Lord has revealed the real killer, we always knew my baby was innocent. The Powlice said they had got the right person and refused to believe my baby was in his crib at the time of the murder. Justice has been done" and then she sang gospel songs for 'ten solid hours' in between her tears and fainting spells.

'Ginger Boy' Ralph Malph, Potsie's best friend was unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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