Charlotte North Carolina (AP) The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association announced this morning that Rev. John Kerry will be replacing the aging Dr. Graham. "We have been searching for a new leader for the Crusade for over a year. Our hearts and spirits were lifted when we interviewed Rev. Kerry this past winter. All members of the Graham family are supporting the new ministry of Rev. Kerry with the exception of Franklin Graham---who feels he is getting robbed of what his daddy should have given him." Rev. Kerry agreed to take the high profile post on the one condition that Franklin is sent on an 8-year mission to Patagonia.
Rev. Kerry said that he would not give up his duties in the US Senate or his run for President in November 2004. "I will be changing the name of the organization to the "John Kerry Evangelistic Association" during the next few weeks. We are scheduled for major crusades at Kansas City and Los Angeles. I am hoping that these events will help voters see that I've got more religion than George Bush. God Bless America!"