Written by Phil Edgar's Bones
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Sunday, 12 October 2008

image for Mr Drummond from 'Diff'rent Strokes' arrested for 'stroking' kids
Actual photo of Danny from the 'Partridge Family' reporting Mr Drummond to the cops.

Fictional TV "dad" Mr Drummond from Diff'rent Strokes was arrested last night for, 'stroking' kids, in all sorts of different and unsavoury ways.

Mr 'D' is fictional dad to Kimberly, Willis and 5 inch funny boy 'Arnold'. A lawyer acting on behalf of Mr 'D' who is a 'man of means' , who adopted two boys who had 'nothing but their jeans'. Stated "it was all a misunderstanding that had been blown out of proportion by tabloid journalists and the mad media".

Mr Hector Hernandez the lawyer working for the fictional 'dead tv pervert' added " there are two major reasons that Mr Drummond is innocent of these 'itty bitty titty' charges. Primarily, Mr Drummond doesn't actually exist and secondly the fictional character died in 1986".

Willis said he was 'shocked' at the charges. Kimberly, Mr Drummond's on screen daughter said she was 'deeply concerned' about the allegations. Young Arnold added " This is yet another tragic miscarriage of justice spear-headed by unscrupulous 'wanking' tabloid editors, futhermore I am fully aware what Willis is and was talking about".

It is thought the charges of indecent assault were initiated by various members of the Partridge family, Degrassi Junior High and the Brady Bunch.

The arresting officers Christine Cagney and Mary-Beth Lacy stated "Mr Drummond came quietly (in his pants) and seems to be in good spirits, considering the circumstances".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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