Senator John Mccain's running mate, Governor Sara Palin, recently confessed to bloggers that she in fact had cheated on her husband on several occasions. When asked to identify her lover, she first cleared her throat, then named Bigfoot.
Surprisingly, corporate media commentators rejected the story as a "distracting joke", and a "PR stunt gone wrong", alleging "Bigfoot does not exist in real life, and if he did, he certainly would not be able to get a MILF like Sara Palin to sleep with him". Their critisism of bloggers went even further. Those who broke the story were labelled "a bunch of degenarete computer nerds with no sense of humor".
Sara Palin was not available to make any public comments on the allegations made by herself, but the McCain campaign denounced them as "the type of vicious attempts of character assassination that a maverick team of mavericky mavericks like McCain and Palin will not stand for".
Yesterday, bloggers were supplied with ammunition to defend the credibility of the sex scandal. At a press conference in Wasilla, which is somewhere in Alaska,
Attorney Joey Smith threatened to sue certain named news outlets for slander of his client, Bigfoot. Mr. Smith confirmed that Bigfoot indeed existed, and moreover that the sex scandal indeed had ocurred, repeatedly. Mr. Smith described some of their encounters in detail. He said that Palin was mostly interested in Bigfoot's big feet, and that she, among other things, enjoyed long sessions of combing and licking his hairy toes.
According to Mr. Smith, Mrs. Palin's first encounter with Bigfoot happened while jogging, at the time when she was Mayor of Wasilla. At first, she had taken a liking to Bigfoot due to his mythological appeal.
Bigfoot himself had always suspected that their affair was mostly based on Mrs. Palin's foot fetish, and that love had nothing to do with it. Mr. Smith also revealed that Bigfoot admitted that he, at first, found Mrs. Palin's obvious lack of intelligence and sophistication refreshing. At least until she started to get on his nerves. "I hope I'm not betraying his trust, but Bigfoot told me that he was the one who ended the relationship," said Mr Smith.
Mr. Smith explained that, from his understanding of the situation, "...her voice became annoying after awhile, and Bigfoot saw no end to her senseless rants other than migrating to the Yukon.
When asked whether or not he is representing Bigfoot pro bono, Mr. Smith smirked at first. He only answered after the question was repeated, and the answer he gave was that, "since Bigfoot neither has money nor credit, I'll be getting paid in various kinds of furs."