Los Angeles governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has today unveiled alternative plans for the rescue of the US economy, after first telling White House staff that the $700billion plan put forward by President Bush, was "bullshit".
The US is in the midst of an economic meltdown, and financial experts have frantically been trying to come up with a solution to save the banking sector.
Schwarzenegger, the star of movies such as Terminator, Terminator 2, and Terminator 3, smashed through the White House gates this morning, and strode up the lawn, despatching security guards who challenged him, as if swatting flies.
He reached the main building, and made straight for the Oval Office, where President Bush was having his toenails clipped.
According to eye-witnesses, the Austrian ordered:
"Give me the money! I will keep it safe! DO IT NOW IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!"
As the President's aides rushed to his defence, Schwarzenegger trashed the room, sustaining, what, for humans, would have been life-threatening injuries.
As the carnage was taking place, news filtered through to the White House that the world's stock markets were recovering slightly, and, at this, the Terminator arrested his demolition, slowly looked around, and calmly left the site.
Ron Sopwith, head of security, said:
"I'll never forget his last words: "I'll be back if you're lying". Then he walked away."