BULLS GAP, Tennessee - The individual who hacked into Governor Sarah Palin's email could end up receiving a five year prison term as well as a $250,000 fine.
When Palin was informed of these developments she commented in that shrilled Tina Fey voice, "Or you can dress the little friggin' piece of polar bear dung up in a moose costume, put me up in a helicopter, and let me see just how fast that little good-for-nothing punk hacker can backspace, scroll down, shift, tab, and control-alt-delete."
Gov. Palin has said that the thing that upset her the most about the whole hacking situation was not that the individual was able to get her social security number, or her bank account numbers, or the birth dates of all of her children, but the fact that he went in there and stole her collection of secret family recipes.
Sarah Louise stated that the secret recipes which had been handed down for four generations of both the Palin family and Heath family included; Pickled Silly Salmon Souffle, Female Caribou Ovaries Fondue, and Todd's favorite, Puffy-Cheeked Reindeer Casserole a la Effervescent Eskimo. Palin has said that since the incident she has installed a new anti-hacking software program known as 'Friggin' Hackers Be Gone'.
In other news, Senator John McCain has told a crowd in Dubuque, Iowa, that from now until the election he will be referring to Senator Barack Obama as 'That One.' He added that when he is talking about Democratic vice-presidential candidate Senator Joe Biden he will refer to him as 'That Other One.' He then grinned and said "and of course I will still be referring to my GOP running mate as 'My sweet sexy little Sarahkins.'
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