Written by Charlie Van Horn

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Topics: John Kerry, boston

Wednesday, 2 June 2004

image for Kerry Joins Band, Kucinich to Stay in Race
Waffles and 'Wails'

(BOSTON, Mass.)--John Kerry announced today at a speech to Korean War Veterans in Boston that he is stepping out of the race for the presidency and going back to his band, "The Waffles".

"The Waffles" drummer, Roger McGuiles, was happy that John decided to go back to playing guitar.

"We do a ripping version of the old Dick Dale surf song 'Miserlou', and it just don't sound kick ass with out Kerry banging and wailing"

Dennis Kucinich, who was delighted to have his name mentioned in this article, was quoted as saying "Goody Goody Fresh and Fruity"

"The Waffles" only hit, 1984's 'Everybody needs some pot, man' was featured on the bonus soundtrack album to the movie "Born in East LA"

President Bush was delighted with the situation, and more than willing to relish the news, mainly because Kucinich, as a source close to the president put it, "has an ass so easy to kick a blind guy with no legs could pull that sh#t off"

Kerry supporters are hopeful that the former presumed democrat presidential hopeful will change his mind. Again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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