Langley, VA/ Spook News - Reports are emerging from CIA headquarters that VP Candidate Joe Biden was secretly being programmed with High Speed Micro Burst Transmissions from James Carville during his recent debate with Gov. Palin.
The Senator, who admits to being "dizzy sometimes", has been charged with being "Brain Dead" by opponents. This after his youthful experience of being trapped in a coal mining accident with no oxygen for 5 days, reported earlier in The Spoof. Reports say he was fitted with the devices during an earlier "Hair Club" resodding of his failing follicles.
Recently declassified reports indicate that the mini antennas were ordered installed secretly by former CIA head, Porter Goss, as a hedge against the day that the Senator "ever makes something of himself."
Goss, latter dismissed for ignorance of his job position, was also accused of Paranoia, when he dismissed the entire staff of experienced clandestine agents and replaced them with community organizers who had never left Cook County, Illinois, but "were street wise."
Retired CIA agent Valerie Plume, the center of controversy herself after it was reported that she was the master mind behind Charlie Wilson's "Secret War", was to be Biden's handler in charge of activating the "on switch" to correct the Senator's political embarrassing ASS SPEAKS becoming more prevalent as the Presidential election neared.
While everyone thought that Carville, former President Bill Clinton's Pit Bull, had been retired, reports seem to indicate that he had just gone deeper into the CIA clandestine life after a Gallup Pole suggested his extreme ugliness of countenance and demeanor were frightening younger Democratic voters.
Suspicions were aroused, when after the debate, Biden commented to Palin that "I sure would like to get into your knickers", a comment often heard around the White House during the former Horny Clinton years.
GOP advisors also thought something was up during the debate. "As we all know, Biden never had an original thought in his whole life.!"