Written by Scott Bornstein
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Friday, 3 October 2008

image for Jackie Chan Orders Roast Cat, Receives Chicken and Goes Berserk
Jackie Chan went crazy when chicken showed up for lunch instead of this fellow

NYC - Chinese martial arts actor Jackie Chan who is famous for his fists of steel, boyish looks and nice smile in many Hollywood pictures was arrested today after kicking in the face of two cashiers, a hostess, and the cook of a prestigious Manhattan restaurant.

The KFC located on 5th ave. has thrived without incident for over 40 years. That is until Chan arrived this afternoon for a relaxing lunch.

The manager of the KFC explained: "Chan just came in and tore up the place. Chan placed his order of a #3 with a diet coke and said 'How bout that?', to which our cashier politely replied, 'That it is.'

"Next thing I know, Chan's feet are flying into the faces of our staff. It was amazing and such a pleasure to see the talented Chan in action so up close and personal, and in particular with our slow and unmotivated staff."

Later the misunderstanding was discovered. Chan was asking the cashier "How about Cat?", not "how bout that."

When our famous fried chicken arrived instead of the anticipated roast cat, Chan experienced a feeling of grief and anger further enhanced by extreme hunger.

It seems Chan missed breakfast today and was still sick from the food poisoning he was stricken with after dining at "Long Dong Dung Sushi Palace" for dinner yesterday.

Responding to reporters Chan said: "why would anywon eat suts bootiful bird wen so money cats woaming da steets" Chan went on to say: "baaaauhhggg, baaaaauhhhhhggg!!!"

It seems just the thought of fried chicken sickens Chan.

Ironically, Chan is in town for the premier of his new animated movie, "The Screwy Wabbit Cooked Chicken Little and Let the Cat Get Away"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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