Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 3 October 2008

image for Biden Spanks Palin During and After Debate

While both Republican and Democratic camps were quick to declare victory after this week's vice presidential debates, it was Senator Biden who won a personal bet with Governor Palin over viewer response to the telecast. The terms of the wager were not made public until after the debate was over, when it became clear that the winner of the debate won the right to literally "spank" the loser.

Tracked by CNN polsters, both female and male respondents issued favorable or unfavorable ratings while each candidate spoke live. Those responses showed that while Palin had achieved a few highly ranked marks during her answers, Biden had clearly won over both male and especially female viewers with his command of the debate stage. One Democratic campaign representative commented, "Sure he's older, looks trustworthy and has a little snow on the roof, but chicks still dig him."

The payoff on the wager was executed backstage immediately following the end of the telecast, where a single chair sat directly behind the stage backdrop. Palin was heard to ask, "Do we really have to go through with this? I mean, I could break your knee, old fart." Biden replied, "I'll take that chance little missy, now bend over and take it like a man."

Though Biden's assistants were trying feverishly to pull photographers backstage and capture the photo opportunity, Republican volunteers managed to block their access. The spanking was never captured on film, but final comments from Governor Palin were recorded by the only CNN reporter backstage. "You hit like a girl Joe. Why don't you come up to Alaska and I'll show you how we spank bad boys up there. By the way, we'll go hunting too. I've got some great snow shoes and a furry hat for you to try on. I'll be the one up in the helicopter."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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