WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire)-- In a dramatic press conference here on Sunday, Sarah Palin revealed that she was sexually abused by a polar bear as a child in Alaska.
With tears streaming down her eyes, the Republican vice presidential nominee described the ordeal by the merciless white ursine to an appalled and astonished press corps.
"It was horrible I gotta tell you," she stated. "To this day I don't trust those polar bears and I want all of them to drown as global warming melts all of their ice. The only good polar bear is a dead polar bear."
John McCain patted her hand with grief in his eyes as she made the shocking admission.
Palin refused to answer reporter's questions about the incident and rushed off stage, her hands tightly clasped with McCain's.
Reporters were left to speculate whether this was some sort of made-up Republican gimmick attempting to boost the abysmal poll numbers of the trailing GOP which is expected to lose to Senator Barack Obama in November.
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire