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Thursday, 2 October 2008

image for Pelosi Blames Incontinence for Pissing On Almost Everybody!
Pissy Pelosi Can't Get Rid of Toilet Speak:Malady Addictive to Dems!

San Francisco/Liberal Rag - House Speaker and Demagogue Nancy Pelosi today blamed a medical condition for her pissy comments on Capitol Hill which alienated almost any rational thinking American.

Speaking from her San Francisco estate, Del Monte Mansion, located high atop Pineapple Hill, the Speaker said she had an affliction since birth which caused her to "Piss Everybody Off." Despite her malady, fellow Democrats have continued to vote her in to positions of responsibility, mainly because other party candidates though less "pissy", were more "shitty.", which put them in an untenable crappy position when picking leaders.

Pelosi is now embroiled in a Charles Wrangle (sic) type scandal involving handing over Political Action Group money to her husband's real estate and investment company, a practice fellow Dems called "the culture of corruption" when referring to Republicans accused of putting relatives on the payroll.

The thin lipped mother of 5, insisted that giving her husband $99,000 to keep the lights on in his executive offices was not illegal, but part of her Global Plan to "Save the Planet" and keep the world from "going dark." Her message, though not subtle, earned her an "Ever Green" award from Al Gore and a complimentary 7" Solar Powered Dildo reflecting the Democratic Stance on Global Warming. Aides said she was honored with the award, and considered it a great ear wax removal product.

Financial experts familiar with the Pelosis' fiances, say the couple is worth in excess of $25 million based on San Francisco real estate holdings and other investments made possible by Fannie Mae and Countrywide Financial providing favorable mortgage treatments.

Former Countrywide CEO Tony Mazilo is rumoured to be the "God Father" of at least 3 of the Pelosi kids, and allegedly sponsored her for the "League of Italian Mothers" where she has been active in sponsoring neighborhood "numbers games" to raise funds for herself and Barack Obama's political ambitions.

Pelosi was instrumental in ramming through a new minimum wage law when the Dems took over the Congress in 2006. The only exemption to the law , ironically, was the Del Monte Corporation, who happen to have their headquarters in Pelosi's Congressional District. Pelosi flipped off the impoverished pineapple workers by callously saying "they didn't contribute enough to my campaign to deserve a living wage."

A Fox News reporter asked Pelosi if she was going to try and control her pissy attitude and potty mouth in the future, with so much at stake in the coming Presidential election."That DEPENDS" she snapped, crossing her legs in obvious discomfit, but still defiant.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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