Written by Fish
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Monday, 29 September 2008

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O.J.'s Famous Bloody Gloves

Las Vegas NV-- O.J. Simpson was found not guilty of all armed robbery charges today. The shocking decision was reached by the jury after only one hour of deliberation. O.J. was all smiles as he walked out of the courtroom with his attorney, Mr. Fish. In a bizarre twist of fate, the same pair of bad-fitting gloves saved him from prison again!

O.J. had the blood-soaked gloves as a souvenir for many years, following his 1995 acquittal for the horrific murder of two people. He saved the gloves because he knew they fit the real murderer. He has devoted himself everyday of his life to find the real killer. Someone stole the gloves from him sometime last year.

Marcia Clarke once again was the prosecutor in the case. She had been hiding in disgrace for many years but recently decided to live in Las Vegas and practice law again. Ironically, it was the same day O.J. was arrested.

Yesterday, Ms. Clarke told the jury that O.J. stole the gloves at gunpoint from a Las Vegas hotel room and demanded he try them on, again, to prove he is the owner.

O.J. tried on the gloves, again, and they did not fit. The courtroom erupted in chaos! Ms. Clarke burst into tears as O.J. broke into his famous grin.

Defense attorney Mr. Fish explained to the jury that no one would steal a pair of gloves that don't fit. "The gloves don't fit--again, so you must acquit--again." said the devilish Mr. Fish.

The jury agreed and O.J. is a free man again. Free to pursue the real killer! While no one was looking, Marcia Clarke tried on the gloves herself. They were a perfect fit!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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