Written by James Peters
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Topics: Diet, Dr Phil

Sunday, 30 May 2004

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Dr. Phil: Burrito time

(GRAND RAPIDS) - Daytime TV shrink and self-proclaimed diet guru Dr. Phil McGraw was caught shoving an extra large Chimmie-Cheez burrito with extra sour cream down his throat in the parking lot of a Grand Rapids mini-mart Friday morning.

McGraw, who routinely challenges millions of Americans to "get real" about their bad behavior, initially shrugged off the incident when confronted by local journalists at an autographing session.

"Mind your own GD business," McGraw muttered to reporters and fans. "You're not the GD boss of me."

Only later, when members of his organization were shown surveillance photos of McGraw and the freshly purchased burrito, did the chunky pop psychologist admit to any wrongdoing. "No excuses," he said. "I have a genetically predisposed weakness for Chimmie Cheez."

Darlene Grundy, the only person to witness the incident at close range, was shocked at its savagery. "He looked real angry, like he was stuffing his feelings right along with that burrito. Then he just sucked down both portions of sour cream in a single motion."

Dr. Phil, who was in Grand Rapids this week to promote his CDs and exercise videos, is set to release a new book next month titled Less Food for You and More Money for Me: The Wisdom of Dr. Phil.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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