Chicago/ Somewhere in a Back Room - Saying he wanted to get a head start on his administration, Presidential Candidate Barack Obama demanded that the Democratic Congress approve his Cabinet Appointments before the January Coronation.
"Let's just skip the hearing and the rest of that bull shit " the Cocky Candidate reportedly told Democrat House and Senate Leaders, "nobody needs to know about their prior felony convictions, adulterous relationships, ballot stuffing or tax avoidance!"
They're friends of mine, and I can vouch for them.We need to get this show rollin', we're runnin' out of cash, and the brothers are getting restless. I've got a lot of pay back due....and we need to make it happen. WE NEED CHANGE, AND LOTS OF IT!"
On lookers who viewed House leader Harry Reid, and Senate leader Nancy Pelosi emerging from the closed door meeting with Obama said they looked "pale and thin lipped." Frankly, one news reporter said, they looked as if they had been the subject of a Fatua, a favorite tactic of the self appointed "Heir Apparent" guaranteed to have opponents fall in line.
Few details have leaked out about the proposed cabinet, but this much has been learned about some loyal supporters being mentioned:
- Presidential Spokesman: Heather Mallick of CBC who likened Gov. Palin to "a porn actress" with her supporters of "White Trash". Known for her "shopping column" in Canadian Newspapers
- Attorney General: Rep Alcee Hastings,( D,Fl,)impeached former federal judge who narrowly escaped criminal justice for soliciting bribes from criminals.
- Secretary of the Treasury: Franklin Raines, disgraced former head of Fannie Mae forced to step down after "cooking the books", drawing $90M in compensation, and being forced to return $27.5M as "Penalty"
- Chairman of House Ethics Committee: Rep. Charles Rangle, known as "Wrangling Charlie" for his lack of attention to his personal finances and storing his butt and his car in taxpayer funded spaces.(19 terms and counting)
- Housing and Urban Development(HUD): Former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. A bold ploy for the Irish vote and a way to keep a slum a slum while making lots of money off Federal Grants. Good Social Director too.
- Secretary of Defense: William Ayers.Convicted Weatherman bomber, student activist, college professor, Obama advisor. "Lots of laughs at a party when you're smokin' weed" according to informed sources.
- Head of Library of Congress: Oprah. In recognition for all the books she hawks on her show, she'll now have her own place to store them after she gets rid of the important stuff.
The spokesman said the list was not final, but there would be many surprises to come. He said Obama was even considering a novel approach in governing, appointing two (2) Vice Presidents (just in case something happened to one of them). The old Heir and a Spare gambit...anything to keep Nancy Pelosi away from the Throne!