Boston - Bolstering his beleaguered campaign bankroll, Barack Obama's brain trust blueprints plans for a Blues/Rock fundraiser. Bound for Boston, a bountiful bevy of British and U.S. bands are booked and for the two-day jamboree. Boosters will be bombarded with big beats, breathtaking background scenes, and an occasional hit from some bitchin' Bahamian bud.
Boasting even more bizarre and baroque bands, the fundraising festival will further feature: The Beach Boys, Boston, Jimmy Buffett, Bachman Turner Overdrive, Bush, Bow Wow, Busta Rhymes, Bare Naked Ladies, Ben Folds Five, Bjork, Blink 182, Buckcherry, The Boston Pops and the Butt Hole Surfers. Bob Barker will benevolently emcee the big event.
Obama will block out time to speak each day about burning down barriers that blatantly besiege bitches and bachelors trying to start families and buy bungalows. He'll boost investment in bio-technology to bring back jobs to boroughs like Bismark, Bakersfield and Baton Rouge. He will bounce bad politicians to the street, betting on better candidates for the next ballot. Finally, bomb Baghdad or Bogota or any city that bullies us into bending over and burying it up our butts.
One Baltimore blogger writes: "Bang on, Barack. You can bet I'll be by for a little B&B, R&R and perhaps a little slap-and-tickle from the babes backstage. I'll bring the Bacardi and banana smoothies."