Written by Fish
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Topics: Insects, Hotel, bedbugs

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

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Bedbugs Are Back

Philadelphia PA-- Bedbugs are back and they are causing major headaches for hotel chains across the country. The bugs were almost wiped out decades ago but are making a repeat visit thanks to global travel and global warming.

Bedbugs are shiny black critters, about 6 feet long with eight legs and a nasty attitude. They like to eat people.

The swanky Five Seasons hotel in Rittenhouse Circle is infested with the pests. Hotel spokesperson Frank Fish says the bugs are hard to get rid of:

"They eat all the exterminators we send to the rooms. We also tried bleach but that just turned them white." said Mr. Fish. "We plan to try playing rap music to scare them away. We are desperate."

Hotel clerks now charge customers for their fees before they check into their rooms. "It's very hard to get dead people to pay." said Mr. Fish.

Mr. Fish says bedbugs are lazy creatures. They lie around all day in the dark and hide under the bed at night. They eat people as soon as their prey falls asleep.

Mr. Fish recommended people check their luggage when packing to make sure they don't take any bedbugs home with them by accident. "If your suitcase suddenly weighs over 200 pounds, you probably have a bedbug inside. Also check your hair before leaving. They lay their eggs in your hair."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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