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Thursday, 18 September 2008

image for Obama Economic Policy: Cook the Books, Blame Republicans!
Sharia Court: No Jail Time for Financial Rapists!

Washington,DC/TheSpoof.com - Presidential candidate Barack Obama displayed his superb culinary capabilities with his deft new recipe to explain the Double Fannie /Freddie Cheese Melt...And it's a WHOPPER!

Joined by Democratic financial Hi-Rollers Chris Dodd,D,Cn, Senate Banking Chairman, Rep. Barney Frank, D,Ma, Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, financial advisors Jim Johnson and Franklin Raines , they chanted in unison 3 times "It's the Administration's Fault, Stupid!" in hopes the sharia court would overlook the facts and find in their favor.

What the Arbitration Court is looking at for facts in the case:

  • Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac, established by the Clinton Administration, has become a feeding trough for greedy Democratic Cronies.
  • Raines and Johnson both served as CEO's for Fannie Mae, making millions, while manipulating the financial records. From 1998-2003 Raines sucked up $90M, and in 1998 Johnson pigged out on $21m.
  • Raines admitted to wrong doing and was assesed a $24.7M penalty.
    Charges were made that Johnson got a $1.9M bonus after manipulating the records, which really showed he was owed no bonus.
  • In 2003 Fannie Mae BOD member, Democrat Representative Rahm Emanuel opposed every reform measure urged by Republicans, a sentiment seconded by Rep. Frank who said "there is no fearing of any financial crisis....more regulation will mean less affordable housing."
  • Senators Dodd, Obama and Kerry led the list with the most political funds received from the Quasi Government Agencies.
  • Johnson and Dodd came under fire for accepting below market loans from Country Wide Financial's Tony Mazilo, who's company received preferential treatment from the Mortgage Giants, which encouraged even more shaky loan practices facilitating the mortgage/housing boom.
  • Chairperson of DNC Fundraising for Obama is billionaire heiress Penny Pritzer,of Hyatt Hotel fame. The astute financial guru, along with other members of her family presided over Chicago's Superior Bank which was SEIZED by the Feds in 2001 after it lost $2B... IN UNSECURED HIGH RISK LOANS.
  • Barney Frank pushed his bill for "The Housing Rescue and Foreclosure Act" to further ensure tax payers would bailout the mess he helped create.

In a finding for the democrats, against the plaintiffs, the US tax payer, the court found three of the defendants, Obama, Frank and Raines were Harvard Graduates, while Johnson, unfortunately, got his degree from Princeton. Their Ethics, however, therefore are beyond reproach.

The Defendants Actions were a textbook case outlined in an Obama Thesis at Harvard Business School introduced as "Rat-Fucking". which earned him an A+. Applied to the current economic situation, the scenario is as follows:

  1. Create a Cash Cow perceived as helping the poor and needy, thereby increasing your voting base.
  2. Send your cronies over to enrich themselves, mismanage the books so no one can ever figure it out, and provide lots of campaign contributions to "your" Party
  3. Declare anyone who wants to reform the situation "A Racist"
  4. Hire the two highest paid officials accused of financial wrongdoing as your "Top Financial Advisors"
  5. Provide a financial refuge for all those who lost the houses they couldn't afford through fraudulent loans
  6. Provide Federal Guarantees to bail out the institutions you set up, mismanaged, and enriched yourself on
  7. Lobby the Media.....blame it all on the party that tried to clean up the Mess!

In summing up its decision, the Mullah in charge of the Sharia Court took additional pains to thank Senator Obama and his experienced Financial Advisors. "Allah be praised," he intoned, "you've done more for our cause than 9/11!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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