One old guy who gave his Grand Daughter a cuddly young puppy for her birthday was faced with problems when he discovered the new puppy was losing weight.
He investigated the pooch's eating habits to find that the daily bowl of milk he placed in the back yard for the pup was being stolen regularly by a neighbour's cat. He told one of his golfing pals about the problem and his friend suggested he simply adds some premium gasoline to the milk before putting it out and of course, to keep the puppy inside that day.
Grandad asked if this was not a cruel thing to do and his friend assured him it would not harm the cat and would only serve to stop him stealing the milk.
One week later Grandad called his friend to let him know that he did the dastardly deed and that he had watched from a window as the cat arrived and drank the milk, gasoline and all. He went on to say "It looked as though he didn't mind the gas as nothing much happened at first." However, he then continued to say "Then quite suddenly, the cat stopped drinking the milk, gave a shudder or two, then jumped straight up into the air and took off like a rocket all around our yard. It ran up fences, over the shed, along the washing line and finished by going round in rapid circles until just as suddenly, it stopped and fell over onto its side and became still."
His friend quickly demanded to know "Was it dead?"
Grandad with a deep throated hmmmm continued "No my friend, it wasn't dead when I went out to check. It had simply run out of gas!"
Remember not to try this one at home folks.