In a shock move, many millions of Americans have decided not to vote for a new president.
Mr Um Bongo, from Minnesota said: 'We voted last time, look what we got. I don't know anyone who voted for the President, and we were still stuck with him. No, I won't be voting this time, no siree, you won't find me at no voting booth, putting a cross by a name I never heard of before'
Mr Bongo's wife, Nancy said: 'That's right, you tell em Um'
Mr Bongo's name is the direct result of his father panicking when asked his son's name. Mr Bongo's siblings are called Er, Bloody Hell, What did she say? I promised I wouldn't do it again, and What'shisface.
This move will upset many in the run up to the vote, with much mud-slinging left, after much has already been done. We did not ask the candidates what this meant, as many of them said they would not be voting on that day either. 'If the people in power are not setting an example, why will other's follow?' asked Mr Bongo, as he left, pondering the weight of his thoughts into a September Minnesota sky full of hope, and broken promises.