New Yawk NY-- The price of oil plunged to zero early today, shocking both Wall Street and Main Street. The price of oil was over $150.00 a barrel only two months ago. Oil futures for October are actually below zero, adding to the confusion. Market analysts are puzzled about what all this means.
Treasury Secretary Harry Paulson gave some brief comments to the spoof press early today.
"This is nothing but good news for the consumer. Gasoline prices are now zero. Just fill up your tank and drive away." said the beaming fool.
Market watchers say the price fell because of over-production when oil prices were at record highs only two months ago. Oil producers and oil companies were so greedy they put themselves out of business. The oil glut is so huge now, it's almost the size of the Pacific Ocean. The glut should last at least 500 years.
"In a few weeks the consumer will be paid to use oil, the glut is so bad." said Mr. Paulson. "I can foresee gas stations giving away thousands of dollars to people, it's already happening in California."
In related news, the dollar also collapsed to zero. Gold, silver and food commodities also plunged to zero. All stock market indices around the globe plunged to absolute zero in trading today.
"It's a brave new world now." said Mr. Paulson. "It should be interesting to see what happens next!"