Leading scientists and financial experts are agreeing today that the Large Hadron Collider has created a financial black hole so big that all the economies of the west will collapse into a deep depression that will make 1929's Black Tuesday look like a very trivial thing indeed - such as a mere cream pie in the face.
'This will be more than a cream pie in the face,' former Federal Reserve chief Alan Greenspan told us. 'This will be more like rolling around in pig swill for the rest of your life while monkeys defecate and urinate on you from trees that hang overhead.'
'I blame the large central banks,' one scientist said. 'They made many financial gurus believe that you could simply create credit indefinitely, up to where they have borrowed out thousands of times the actual real wealth that was deposited in the banks. So the large financial black hole was being created long before any of us turned on the collider.'