All children to eat Texas okra; broccoli to be banned
Washington, DC -- President George W. Bush announced today the Clean Vegetable Initiative, which will mandate vegetable requirements for American children. He stated that his priority is to "get children to eat what they should as good Texans-- err, Americans."
Chief among the initiative's program is the banning of broccoli from American homes. Anyone caught eating, growing, or distributing broccoli will be detained and sentenced to participate in the Clean Mind Initiative. The clean mind initiative, announced last week, includes re-education at the Abu Ghraib retraining facility.
To encourage healthy eating, the clean vegetable initiative requires daily eating of an approved vegetable. The primary choice for healthy eating is fried okra. "This is the vegetable that made us great, and we should not stray from God's chosen path for his people," the President said.
To add potential variety to children's diets, the President allowed the inclusion of mint julip tea or fresh Texas sweet onions as approved choices.
Vice-President Dick Cheney, accompanying the President at the announcement, said "God wants us to be good, so you'd better do what we say."