Written by PP Rega
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Sunday, 14 September 2008

image for Chertoff reaches out to disaster victims

Yesterday, Michael Chertoff authorized a major military air-lift to evacuate victims of this weekend's disaster. He said, "These poor people are in such sorry states that it would be criminal if no one helped them. It is the only humane thing to do for these unfortunates."

It wasn't until the helicopters were about to land in Texas, that Chertoff told them to divert. He had meant the OSU Buckeyes in California.

Subsequently, Mr. Chertoff said that at first, he was going to have the UM Wolverines volunteer to help with the evacuation, but they kept slipping and sliding and dropping things in the choppers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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