Written by Warren Redlich
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Friday, 12 September 2008

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Keith Olbermann and Chris Mathews Playing Hardball with MSNBC

MSNBC anchors Keith Olbermann and Chris Mathews have had a falling out with the news channel. Due to flagging ratings and internal network politics, the two have been moved to different positions within the news team.

MSNBC insisted that neither has been "demoted," according to spokesman Ahma Fuhllacrahpp. "We are proud of the work Keith Olbermann and Chris Mathews have done for MSNBC. Based on what we've seen, we think they will do even more for us in their new roles. "

Olbermann, in his new title of Head Investigative Cuisine Reporter, will inspect meals in the company cafeteria. Mathews, as Head Investigative Sports Reporter, will manage quality control for jock straps and cups for the MSNBC softball team, a reflection of his old "Hardball" show.

Fuhllacrahpp mentioned that the moves will greatly improve pay equity across MSNBC, as the average salary for the cafeteria staff and the purchasing departments "will increase astronomically."

Olbermann is said to be unhappy with the changes and looking for other opportunities. Mathews, on the other hand, says he's happy with the new position and hopes to really expose the flaws in testicular protection on the playing field.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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