WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- The American nation was shocked to learn that Republic vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin was absorbed by a stray black hole created by the newly operational Large Hadron Collider on Saturday.
"I was standing next to her and then 'zap,' no more Sarah," regretted Senator John McCain. "We will miss her greatly and now I must find another running mate who is not embroiled in so much scandal and who isn't so confused on the issues."
Senator Barack Obama the Democratic nominee also expressed regret at the loss of Palin to a black hole, saying, "It must have been an awful feeling to be sucked into one of those things. I hope someday she can be retrieved somehow and straightened out."
Scientists at CERN who run the collider denied any responsibility, and they also denied allegations that Palin was targetted for annihilation by the black hole in a contract with unnamed Republicans and Democrats.
There have also been reports of thousands of strange disappearances of people, buildings, trees, cars, planes, and other things since the LHC was fired up.
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire