Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 10 September 2008

image for The GOP's Official Band?
Heart or Heart(less)?

Albuquerque F. Pettigrew, Jr, a spokesman for the McCain/Palin campaign has revealed that he plans to call Ann Wilson (Nancy's sister)in hopes of trying to convince her to allow their band "Heart" to become the 2008 GOP Republican Campaign's Official Band.

Pettigrew told an assistant that it is a great idea because they will then be able to legally use the song "Barracuda" as Sarah's theme song.

He added that they would also then have access to using other "Heart" songs as well, such as "Magic Man," (which could be McCain's theme song), "Little Queen," (which could be Bristol's theme song), and other "Heart" hits such as "Crazy On You," "Heartless," "Dog And Butterfly," "Straight On," "Kick It Out," and the very appropriately titled "Tell It Like It Is.

In a related story, Cindy McCain has reportedly admitted to a reporter with The Yuma Morning-Mentioner that four years ago she illegally downloaded three MP3 songs; two by Tony Bennett and one by Paul Revere & The Raiders (Featuring Mark Lindsay). Reliable sources reveal that the assistant executive upstairs maid (in the seventh house) was told to delete all three songs and she did so immediately.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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