Written by Zander Kaufman
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Friday, 28 May 2004

image for Bush orders 420 removed from national time keeping system


Today on the advice of attorney general John Ashcroft, President Bush announced that the U.S. will be phasing out 4:20 on the US time keeping system, in hopes that this action will deter Marijuana users. Since the late 1970's 420 has been known as "the best time to get high" according to Pot Heads.

However anti-drug activists like Rev. Richard Funk say that 420 has much darker roots. "Its evil's birthday no doubt about it." Funk was referring to 420 as Adolph Hitler's birthday that being April 20th.

Starting next week all clocks in the United States shall recognize the standard hour as 59 minutes, therefore taking the twenty minuet mark out of the picture.

"These evil doers support terrorism when they buy their Nickel bag, you are either with us or with them. Now they are them and they can find a new time to get high." said Bush.

We asked the Editor of "High Times" magazine what pot heads across America will do now that 420 AM, PM is gone. "We will just have to pick a new time. Last we checked 710 was open." 710 is the birth date of Russian dictator Joseph Stalin.

The Spoof then asked for the editor's name. He replied by saying he was to fucked up to remember.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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