Written by Jon Kinsey
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Monday, 8 September 2008

image for Belichick Puts Bounty On Karma
Hey bruv, they's messed up.

Bill Belichick, the New England Patriots Head Coach, was more animated than usual at this morning's Press Conference. There was, of course, only one topic on the agenda - how serious was Tom Brady's injury.

"Tom's fucked. I've analyzed it this way and that way, but whichever way you look at it, he's fucked. The team's fucked. I'm fucked. We're all fucked."

When asked to further elaborate, he pulled his sweatshirt up over his head and scowled.

"I've seen the stuff you've been writing this morning. You're all talking about Karma this and Karma that. You say it was Karma that busted Tom's knee. Well let me ask you this. Who is this Karma? Who is she? Because this whore has ruined our season. Did someone hire her? That's it, isn't it. Some little fucker hired her to screw us up. I'm telling you now, she's ruined our season. And you've heard this here first. Whoever can bring the bitch to me, or give me the name of the fucker who hired her, I'll give you $50,000"

There is no word as of yet if anyone has taken Mr Belichick up on his offer, but one thing is certain. It's going to be a cold, hard winter for the Patriots.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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