Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin has plans to bring on the End Times -- the second coming of Christ. An April memo from Palin was leaked to the Anchorage Sun Times revealing the plan.
Palin, who was long a member of an Assemblies of God church, sent the memorandum to her former minister in late August when she realized John McCain was considering her for his campaign plans. The memo details the plan in a series of bullet points:
- Implant a Downs Syndrome fetus in womb to demonstrate appeal to special needs interest group.
- Get Bristol pregnant to create distracting controversy - she needs a good lay anyway.
- Send Sarah Palin nude dossier to McCain by courier because we know he likes the stripper type.
- Defeat Obama and the godless Democrats by any means necessary.
- Do 3-ways with Cindy and John until he dies of a heart attack; use hockey stick if necessary.
- Take over presidency and push the big button to bring on end times!
Todd Palin denounced the memo as a fraud, saying that his wife would never do a 3-way no matter how many times he asked.