Written by Morse
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Topics: Hillary Clinton

Saturday, 6 September 2008

image for Hillary Rats Out Whitey Bolger; $2Million Reward Goes for Campaign Debt!
Bolger on the Loose Again!

Boston/AP - Two days after the FBI upped the reward on renegade FBI informant and Boston Hit Man Whitey Bolger to $2 M, former Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton dropped a dime on him!

As reported earlier, Whitey had been spotted in plain sight on Cape Cod where he lived in ocean front splendor while collecting a check for being a quality control officer for the ever leaking "Big Dig" in Boston since his disappearance in 1995 thanks to a tip off by his FBI handler.

Shortly after the story aired, Whitey was on the move again, reportedly joining the Boston Firefighters union as a fire extinguisher inspector where he promptly twisted his ankle and immediately applied for disability, which as is customary, was granted. The disability earned the infamous mob leader $184,500 a year tax free and continued health care.

Reportedly Senator Clinton spotted Whitey while she was having lunch at Anthony's Pier Four restaurant as the staff was singing Happy Birthday on the occasion of the bon vivant's 79th birthday. The sighting was confirmed by Hillary's luncheon companion, Joe Lieberman, Senator from Conn. who was briefing Hillary on the benefits of getting even with her Democratic peers by switching parties.

A spokesman for Senator Clinton said that in view of her financial difficulties in losing the Democratic nomination for President, she had reluctantly decided to turn in Bolger for the reward in order to pay down her $15 million campaign debt that no one wanted to help her pay, including her husband. "No one loves a rat bastard, but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do....I need the money!" she explained.

An FBI spokesman said the reward would only be paid upon the apprehension and conviction of Bolger who has not been seen since he left the restaurant
in the company of Barney Frank, Democratic Banking Committee member, reportedly to an Obama fund raiser. An FBI informant said they were discussing a possible hit on VP candidate Sarah Palin in exchange for immunity.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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